Go All In

I've been spending a lot of time surfing in search of content for the blog and I run across some strange stuff. Here is a entrepreneur that managed to mix his love of poker with other interests. Poker Condoms, the slogan kills me, "Go All In". They claim all Poker Condom users are lucky, I sure could use some luck. Although they look like a poker chip and could double as such, I think I'll stick to the clay type for the home game. The logo looks familiar, kind of like that of one of my favorite poker sites. Shame on you condom guy.

Whats Next

I don't mean to turn this blog into America's Funniest Home Videos but I keep running across clips that crack me up. This guy reminds me of the late great Sam Kinison. He's obviously from New York or Jersey and is very pasionate with his views.

Check out his take on Gambling, "Click to view"
If you liked that one, heres another. Indian casinos really piss him off.
"Click to View" Video Credits to "Bob" He really should calm down. I see a heart attack in Bobs future.

Husbands Beware!

I used to kid a friend of mine whenever he was about to do something that his wife wouldn't approve of, which was quite often. Danny boy, if your wife knew what you're doing she'd cut you off. His response was always, yeah but she don't know where I'm getting it.

I stumbled across a site today that reminded me of Dan and his wife, a tool that could be a problem for any husband or boyfriend that might be spending a little to much time at the poker table. Have you been neglecting your significant other? Has she threatened to "cut you off " or sabotage your computer. Well beware of netmop then.

They advertise a internet blocking filter, that she can implement to keep you from getting into those poker sites you love so much (porn sites too). They claim It's tamper proof, I can see it now. Please, please honey can I have the password.

Blogger Poker Tour Event #1

It was not a pretty sight. The goddess of luck decided to put me in a dead chair. The first hand of the tourney I'm in a late position and get dealt K/10 of hearts, I have a bet in front of me and I call. The small blind makes a pot size bet and I now find myself wishing I had folded the hand as I had no reads on anyone at the table. Patience, patience, its my new mantra but I'm just so damn hard headed it won't sink in.

I call the raise and the flop comes 10h/8h/3s which gives me top pair, good kicker and a flush draw. Here it comes, nasgotti bets 20xBB from the small blind and the guy in mid position folds. Ok, I'm pretty sure this guy has an over pair JJ or QQ and has me beat but with my outs I feel forced to call. The turn pairs the board with the 8d, damn some days you just can't get a break. Just as I figured, gotti fires again and now I am pot committed and have no choice but to chase like a dog. River is 6s giving me no help, mafia boy pushes confirming my fears that he has me beat, so I fold. No patience, but at least I had the discipline to lay the hand down when I thought I was beat.

Now I been playing all of 1 minute and I'm short stacked, I hate this game. At this point I decide I have to be very patient and wait for that premium hand and try to double up to get back in the game. What a joke, now I can't seem to get a playable hand and when I get something I would limp in with, this guy-dedmanhand raises the pot. This goes on for like 30-40 minutes. The blinds are getting to the point I need to do something quick. So I'm in the cutoff with Q/10s, I'm getting frustrated because these rags are the best hand I've seen in quite awhile. I call, it's goes back around to my friend dedmanhand again, which Is the tourney leader at this point and guess what? Yep, he raises about 5x pot. I have long ago forgot my matra and I'm now chanting SOB, SOB. I feel like this @#$% head is trying to bully me and without any resemblance of good sense I go all in. Well, ole ded turns over a K/10o against my Q/10s and with a rainbow flop I have officially become dead meat. A disapointing finsh in 42nd of 50 is not how I wanted to start but what can you do.

Playing with the "Chief"

A couple week ago I'm playing in a friendly game at the local Elks club when a fellow that calls himself "Chief" starts telling us about a gathering of the American Indian Nation in his home state of New York. A Pow Wow as he called it. The keynote speaker being none other than Sen. Hillary Clinton. He went on to tell us how she spoke for almost an hour on her future plans for helping Native American's and boasted about how she had never opposed any legislation designed to help her "red sisters and brothers"

At the conclusion of her speech, the Chief said he and the other tribe leaders presented the Senator with a plaque inscribed with her new Indian spirit name - Walking Eagle.

With my curiosity getting to me, I asked, Chief , how did you come to select the spirit name given to the Senator. He proceeded to explain that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of sh-t it can no longer fly.

Adjust your weekend poker game

The weekend is here, time to adjust your game in preparation of the onslaught of donkeys and fish. I know it's supposed to be a good thing, all these novice players but when you get caught at a table full of them your in trouble.

No longer will your bets carry any respect, trying to limit a pot will be like trying to run off buzzards from a rotting carcass. You have to pay close attention to whose at the table or you can get in big trouble real quick. If you start thinking "He didn't really hit that straight, because he would have had to have played a 6/3" your gonna be amazed.

You have to realize the weekend warriors are playing with a different motivation than you are. They like the excitement of chasing that low card flush and hitting on the river. They don't care if they lose money in the long run, they just look at the immediate rewards. If they lose, it's just the cost of entertainment to them.

I find it best to stay out of multi-way pots with these fish and I prefer to get them at a heads up table where I can clean them one at a time. Be prepared for a larger variance, avoid the schooling effect where you find yourself surrounded by fish and you should be able to survive the weekends.

As a last measure, if you find yourself taking badbeat after badbeat from these idiots and you just wish you could reach through the screen and punch one of these fish. Just do it! Our friends at Part Time Poker have come up with a way to vent our frustrations. Punch-A-Fish

Don't fear Robin, Stratman is here!

What a cluster @#$%, everywhere you look there is a banner advertising a different poker site, all promising the bigger, better deal. How do you wade through all the bull and find the best poker site to play at?

If you are new to online poker it can seem overwhelming but here are some of the things you want to take into consideration when shopping for a site to play at.

First off, I like to see if they offer freeroll tournaments or "Play Money" so that I can get a feel for the software without having to make a deposit. If the site doesn't offer a means to try before you buy, drop it like its hot. Any reputable site will let you play for free first. Check out the graphics, are the cards easy to read are all the important elements to the game displayed and easy to find, such as button location, pot amount, players actions. Are the color combinations pleasing to the eyes. Remember you will be staring at this screen for long periods of time. If you get hooked on poker like I am, you don't want you eyes to start bleeding because you been staring at a puke green screen for two days straight.. I prefer simple graphics without cartoon characters and palm trees but that's just my personal preference.

Look around the lobby while your there, is the interface easy to navigate, can you find what your looking for with out GPS, tracking dogs and a compass. Look to see if they have a variety of games and tournaments. Do they have sit n go's, guaranteed payout tourneys, short handed and heads up tables, what about Omaha and Stud? What are the table limits, do they have .02./04 micro limit tables for beginners? You don't want to learn to play on a higher stakes table unless your looking for a expensive poker education. Also look at connectivity issues while your playing. Does the connection seem to be stable? Ask other players at your table if they experience connection problems. See if the site has disconnect protection. There is nothing more disheartening than to be holding the nut flush and have the site fold your hand because you were disconnected.

Are there a lot of players and filled tables. Although I enjoy playing at some sites with less traffic as you get to know alot of the players, you don't want to log on and have to wait forever for a sit n go to fill, or have a problem finding a table at the limits you prefer to play. Table selection is important in poker play, so there has to be enough traffic so that if you find yourself at a table full of sharks, you can easily move to a table that has softer competition.

Be sure to visit the main website and check out the deposit and cashout options, should you decide to make a deposit. Do they allow banking with your type of credit card, or NETeller. Can you make deposits via wire transfers, western union or cashiers checks.

Also look at the amount of rake the site scoops, do they have a rake back program or other special promotional offers. Look at there support options, can you contact someone with your questions 27/7. I like to be able to pick up the phone and contact support via a toll free number if necessary.

I think most sites are fair and safe but in order to be sure you probably want to stick to the larger more well know sites. It's a good idea to google a site your looking to play at and look at player's reviews.

All in all if you go to a site and look at the items I have highlighted, I think you will be well on your way to finding a online home game. Help support this site and start your search fo the perfect poker room by clicking on the poker site links to the right.

Online Poker Software and Tools

This is THE software program for any serious Texas Holdem poker player. It's a comprehensive database application that runs reports, shows in-depth statistics and displays information about your game by reading your hand histories at all of the major poker rooms. They have a free trial version that allows you to download 1,000 hands to evaluate. This is a great program to use in efforts to plug leaks in your game.You will also find lots of dissusion about Poker Tracker and how to take advantage of all it's features at the 2+2 poker forums. This is the best poker tool you can find online, check it out today!
Here is a list of add-on tools for Poker Traker that you might find usefull:

• Poker Edge
  
• Lunker Tracker (New)
  
• GameTime+
• HandGrabber
• UltimateHistory
• Poker Patterns
• PokerAce
  

Another tool that I use is PokerStove which is a free odds calculater that runs in your windows toolbar and pops up when you need it.

I't great for when your pocket aces get beat by J/10o. You just click on the PokerStove icon, enter your hand and you opponent's hand and wah lah, you can see just how bad that badbeat was in precentages.

Then you can go back to the table and tell Mr. Donkey he was a 4 to 1 underdog in that hand, that he only had a
17.263% chance of sucking out like that. You'll look like the math wizard.

The Beer Hand

The hold'em starting hand seven and two off suit, statistically the worst starting hand in hold'em poker. This hand in a 10 handed game only has a 3.60% chance of winning with less that a 1% chance of a tie. Even heads up against a random hand its stilla 2to1 underdog.

So the next time you're dealt these rags, throw them in the muck and head for the refrigerator for a cold beer.

Pocket Queens

I was at pokerchamps.com again just minding my own business when I look up and see the Hilton sisters staring back at me with those perky little........well you get the picture. So I look at my position and holy moley i'm on the button, hot damn but what, here comes a big bet at me....ut oh, I imediately go to the lobby to see where this guy "duckmysick" is from.....and oh shit, he's Canadian which in the native tongue of the Mi'kmaqsi indians of Nova Scotia, means "He who bets with large frozen kahonas".

This is not looking good but maybe ole duck is making a play with his pocket nines. Then just as i'm about to grab the mouse and click I get more action. This time it's a all-in from "Kasperoviz" who has my stack covered. The name looks Scandanavian but what region, is it...is it...ohhh nooo. Danish or as "Cooler" calls them " a clone" because they all seem to base their play after that of countrymen, Gus Hansen who
is famous for playing any two cards.

It's beginning to look like the Hilton sisters have come to give me a gift of herpes and not the sweet stuff the Statman was hoping for. Ok, it's decision time guys. That's what sucessful poker is all about, making good decisions. I've got a good starting hand and I'm in best position seat wise. Most players at this point ignore all the info available to them saying, hey I've got pocket queens, damn if i'm laying them down.

I have a raise and a re-raise in front of me, but haven't been at the table long enough to get a good read on any of these players. The info I have on regional style suggest i'm up against less than premium hands but the fact remains these guys put there money in the middle for a reason. If it was heads up I would have no chose but to push but in a multi way pot it's only a little mistake to lay the hand down, another bus will be coming in a minute and a half.

Can the Stratman do it, can he tell Paris and Nicky to hit the road..........No, and as I click the call button I see the Dane with AA and the Canadian with KK. At this brief moment, a sense of dispair sets in and I say to myself, why didn't I lay the bitches down. Then just that quick my emotions sky rocket upwards as the flop comes Qs 10h 7d, Unreal, I hit trips, I've just busted aces and kings. Riding high the turn comes a 2c, man this is a very nice pot i'm about to rake here. Then the knife, one of the cards that you were praying wouldn't come shows up and stabs you right in the solar plexes. I hate this @$#%&# game.

Money it's a Gas

George Washington was a believer in and frequently quoted the French proverb: "Gambling is the child of avarice (greed), the brother of iniquity and the father of mischief."

Although the first President and a accomplished farmer, I have to disagree with Mr Washington on his views on gambling.

If I never made another dime playing poker, the friendships that I have kindled and the interactions that I have had with people all over the globe, that I other wise would not have experienced, have made my time spent at the cyber felt worth everything I have invested ten times over.

I bet with the patience and disipline that the first President displayed in all his endeavors, he would have been a hell of a fine poker player.(I also bet he grew some killer green)