Thursday, May 04, 2006

Secret to Winning Poker

You have read Doyle's Super System along with every other poker book you could get your hands on. You've spent so much time staring at a felt green computer screen your eyes have begun to bleed. Your weekends are spent scouring the internet in search of information that will give you that little edge you need to be one of the chosen few that actually show a profit playing poker.

What you don't know and i'm about to tell you is the key, the secret to winning poker that you have been searching for and no one has been willing to share with you. Most are scared to even mention it because of its black nature. Once you take this step your old game will be a thing of the past. Those times where you had 15 outs and still couldn't manage to catch a card will be over. You will no longer be the short stack. Your suckouts will amaze and astonish. All this time you have been struggling to gain poker skills. Guess what? you don't need skill to win at poker, its luck that makes you the big winner and you can control luck if your willing to step into the dark side. Just ask Gus Hansen. When you watched him win three WPT titles by playing any two cards, you said to yourself, man that guy has supernatural luck. Well now you know.

Prepare to explode your bankroll because here is the recipe to your success in poker but beware once you cross this line you can never go back.

Ok, for starters the best time to cast spells is during a full moon. You need to scrounge up a caldron. These can be hard to find so if it a poses a problem you can get by with a beer cooler but you will only have good luck when you play drunk, but hey, thats a small price to pay, don't you think. Next fill the caldron half full of water and drop a silver coin into it. Position the cauldron so that the light from the moon shines into the water. Gently sweep your hands just above the surface, symbolically gathering the moon's silver. While doing this, say:

"Lovely Lady of the Moon
Bring to me your wealth right soon.
Fill my hands with silver and gold.
All you can give, my purse can hold."

Repeat three times. When finished, pour the water upon the earth. It is done.

Now if your like me and you could screw up a wet dream and not even be in it, then you might want to hire a witch to cast this spell for you. (Some things are better left to professionals) If you need help locating one just send me a email and i'll get you in touch with my ex-wife. Oops, my bad, she would be a bitch and you need a witch. Try here this should help.

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